The Joy of Being Wrong

People are so certain they are right these days! This is the case in both politics and religion. People with strong opinions are certain that other people are wrong, and they are quick to point out exactly how wrong. They accuse others of being duped, deluded, brainwashed, deceived, misinformed and disinformed, without pausing to consider that this might be true of them as well.

They cannot imagine that they might be as wrong as their opponents. In fact it has become a sin to admit that we might be wrong. It is seen as a sign of weakness or a lack of conviction to admit we are wrong and change our mind. Changing one’s mind is seen as a character flaw. You are “flip-flopping.” Changing one’s political party or religion is the unforgiveable sin!

Strangely this standard is applied even to scientists, who are the most empirical of thinkers. If scientists change their mind on a matter – such as the COVID virus or vaccines - it is seen as a sign of conspiracy or incompetency. People no longer understand how science works. Scientific truth is not fixed. It is constantly changing. Scientific consensus is continually updated as new evidence is gathered. Something is wrong if scientists do NOT change their minds. Scientific truth evolves.

This is very different than religion or politics. Religion believes in unchangeable truths that were given “once for all” at some time in the past by a religious founder or reformer. (The reality is that religions also evolve, but they won’t admit it.) Political positions are based on “core values” and party loyalty that cannot be questioned or compromised. To question these principles is seen as betrayal. As the proverb says, true believers are “often wrong but never in doubt.”

I have come to realize that I am often wrong, and I seldom realize it until much later. Without a doubt I am wrong. (Yes, I recognize the contradiction and humor in that statement!) It is a joy to be freed from the burden of always being right! It is a blessing to realize that I am often wrong. Please do not believe anything I say without examining it for yourself!

The same goes for what you say to yourself, as you convince yourself of the rightness and righteousness of your positions. As I have often said to people in counseling sessions, “You do not have to believe the thoughts in your head.” Be as skeptical of your own opinions as you are of others’ opinions.

To be free from blindly believing our own thoughts is to be released from the tyranny of self. The autocratic self is far more dangerous to our freedoms than any president or political party. The self cannot tolerate being wrong, and for that reason is dangerous. Be especially wary of confirmation bias, which is the way we deceive ourselves while pretending to be open to new information. We are blind to our own blindness.

My awareness of my aptitude for wrongness came about during the deconstruction of my Christianity a decade ago. While ruthlessly examining my assumptions on matters of religion, I saw how wrong I was about so much … for so long. Once we see how easy it is to be wrong – and to be blissfully unaware of being wrong - we can never trust our thoughts so completely again.

Yet we must still make decisions about politics and religion and science, and we must act on our decisions. So let us do so carefully and humbly. Let us always (as a minister friend of mine used to pray) be “mindful of the faint but humbling possibility that we may be wrong.” 

May we have the courage to explore our doubts thoroughly. When we discover we are wrong, let us give thanks to God for the revelation and admit it joyfully! It means we are a little less wrong... hopefully. Unless I am wrong about that too!