Lenten Love

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, which also happens to be Valentine’s Day this year. The coincidence of these two holidays naturally leads me to ponder the relationship between Lent and Love.

This year is special to me because my wife, Jude, and I celebrated our fiftieth wedding anniversary last month. We did not go overboard in the celebration. No big party or gifts. We simply shared a meal with our sons and their families at a local restaurant. Our daughter really wanted to celebrate with us, but it was too far to travel from western Pennsylvania for a meal.  

It may not have been a big party, but it was a big deal for Jude and me. We have been married for twice as long as we were unmarried. I call her “my love.” That is how I address all my cards to her. I always have. She is the love of my life. It was not love at first sight, but it was love at first dance.  

Our first date in college was at an all-night dance marathon. It has been love ever since, in spite of the fact that I am not a great dancer. I even took dancing lessons as an adolescent. My father was a wonderful dancer, and my mother wanted me to follow in his footsteps... literally. It didn’t work.  

Unlike the Gerswhins, who wrote their famous song nearly a century ago, I ain't got rhythm. (Neither has Jude, but don’t tell her I said that!) We took ballroom dancing lessons back in the last century to address our dance impairment. I remember practicing in the basement of the church, but it did not help either of us much. As a couple we still have four left feet.  

I have been blessed to share this earthly life with the most wonderful, loving, kind-hearted, beautiful, spiritually-minded, woman imaginable. I do not know why I am so blessed. She has been my rock. Together we have built our home upon the Rock of Ages.  

If I had to credit our lasting love for each other, I would credit it to our partnership in faith. The spiritual life has been a priority for both of us. At our wedding the song “We are One in the Spirit” was sung, as well as Dylan’s “If Not for You.” Those two songs sum up our lives. We got married on the evening of the twelfth day of Christmas, and the Spirit of Christ has stayed with us.  

We have both changed during the last fifty years, yet we have grown together and not apart because we have shared our love for God. That doesn’t mean we agree on everything, but we support each other in everything.

We have different styles of spirituality. I tend to be more academic, contemplative and mystical. She is more prayerful, interpersonal and devotional. Yet both of us fill our days – especially our mornings – with spiritual activities. My wife is naturally more affectionate, but a bit of that has rubbed off on me over the decades.  

Human love finds its Source in Divine Love. The apostle famously wrote, “God is love.” The rest of the verse says, “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

Love is the heart of the Christian gospel. Any person or church that does not love all people, does not know God, regardless of how much they use the words Christian or Christ.  

Spiritual love is true religion. Love for spouse, family and others flows from that love. That is what keeps us sane in a world and a society that seems to be erupting in hate. Lent is a time to remember this love.

The ashes of Ash Wednesday remind us that love is stronger than death. We are mortal, but Love is immortal. We are dust and ashes, but love rises from the ashes. To lose ourselves in Divine Love is to gain eternal life. That the link between Love and Lent. (Happy Valentine’s Day, my love!) 

(Artwork depicts the coincidence of Ash Wednesday and Valentine's Day, Feb, 14, 2018, CNS illustration/Elizabeth Butterfield, Diocese of Erie)