Thursday, December 10, 2020

How the Trump Stole Inauguration Day

Every Dem down in Demville liked Inauguration Day a lot.

But the Trump, who lives in the White House, Did NOT!

The Trump hated Inauguration … The whole Inauguration season!

It was because he could no longer be prez, that’s the reason.


It was also his head wasn't screwed on just right.

It was perhaps also that his briefs were too tight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all,

May have been that his brain was two sizes too small.


Whatever the reason, his briefs or his brain,

He stood there on Inauguration Eve, hating the Dems,

Staring from the White House with a sour, Trumpy frown,

At the large crowd gathering below in the town.


For he knew every Dem down in Demville beneath,

Was busy now, hanging Inauguration Day wreaths.

"And they're planning their galas!" he snarled with a sneer,

"Tomorrow is Inauguration Day! It's practically here!"


Then he growled, with his tiny fingers nervously drumming,

"I MUST find some way to stop Inauguration from coming!"

For tomorrow, he knew, all the Dem girls and boys,

Would wake bright and early and begin to enjoy!


And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!

Noise! Noise! Noise!

That's one thing he hated! The NOISE!



Then the Dems, young and old, would sit down to a feast.

And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST!


They would feast on Dem-pudding, and rare Dem-faux beast.

Which was something the Trump couldn't stand in the least!


And then they'd do something he liked least of all!

Every Dem down in Demville, the tall and the small,

Would stand six feet apart, with masks and start singing!

They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd SING!



And the more the Trump thought of this Dem Inauguration sing,

The more the Trump thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"

"Why, for seventy-nine days I've put up with it now!"

"I MUST stop this Inauguration from coming! But HOW?"

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!



"I know just what to do!" the Trump laughed in his throat.

And he put on his MAGA cap and his coat.

And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Trumpy trick!"

"With this coat and my hat, I’ll be Prez again quick!"


"All I need are some cronies..." The Trump looked around.

But, his cronies were gone, there was none to be found.

Did that stop the old Trump? No! The Trump said as he paced,

"If I can't find my cronies, I'll call on my base!"


So he called Donny Junior. Then he took some red thread,

And he tied a bull horn on the top of his head.

Then he tweeted the Proud Boys to stand back and stand by

He called Breitbart News and put on his red tie.


Then the Trump said, "Let’s go!" The limo started down,

Toward the stage where the Dems sat waiting in town.

All their faces were happy. Quiet snow filled the air.

All the Dems were all dreaming of a future with healthcare.


When he came to the first little row on the square.

"This is stop number one," the old Trumpy Don hissed,

he climbed on the roof and banged with his fist.

Then he slid down the hood with a big awkward bump.

But, if T.J. Hooker could do it, then so could the Trump.


He got on the horn that was tied to Don Junior

And yelled at the top of his lungs every rumor

He ever had read on the net about fraud

And hoaxes and traitors, but got no applause.


Then little Cindy-Lou Dem, who was not more than three,

Looked up at the Trump who was making his plea.

The Trump stared down at this tiny Dem daughter,

Who'd come with her mother to see Ms. Kamala.

She stared at the Trump and said, "Mr. Grumpy man, why?,”

"Why are you ruining Inauguration Day? WHY?"


But, you know, that old Trump was so bitter and so slick,

He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

"It’s all a mistake," the fake President screamed,

"The wrong man is on stage, it ought to be me.

I’m the one who won, and I won by a lot!”


Cindy Lou paused and looked at her mom,

And then looked at the Trump.

“Everyone knows that is not true” she said to the Grump.

“Only those whom you threaten and bully say so.

It’s alright to lose. My mommy says so.


We lost last time too, and did not say ‘Boo Hoo!’”

“What matters is how we act when we lose.

I have learned to accept it and be a big girl.

So put big boy pants on and don’t act like a churl.

Though I am not yet three I have learned to be brave.

When I don’t get what I want, I accept what I have.”


Grinch scratched his head and looked at Don Junior,

He thought of something he never thought of before!

"Maybe Inauguration," he thought, "isn’t all about me."

"Maybe about democracy!"


And what happened then? Demville they say,

That the Trump’s small brain grew three sizes that day!

And as soon as his red cap began to feel tight,

He took off his hat in the bright morning light,


And threw it away, and with the sun shining!

He got on his cell and tweeted, “God bless Joe Biden!

The election is over. And my time has now ceased!”

And then he himself, the Trump, carved the faux beast!


By Marshall Davis (With apologies to Dr. Seuss)

1 comment:

Owen said...

This is so, so inspired. Oh, wow. Thank you! May it be so.