The Stories We Tell

A week has passed since the election, and I am trying to view our country through the eyes of those who are happy about who won. I want to understand. There are metaphors that describe how to do this: seeing through another’s eyes, walking a mile in another’s shoes, feeling their pain, stepping into their world. It all boils down to intentionally getting into the heads and hearts of those who view the world from a different perspective.  

That is what I have been trying to do recently. I have been listening. Not listening with the intent to refute. Not formulating rebuttals in my mind while reading an opposing position. Not assuming I am right and they are wrong. Rather I am trying to put aside preconceptions and listen openly, in order to understand emotionally as well as intellectually.  

What I have heard is stories. Right now people are telling stories about why they won or why they lost. But most of the stories predate the election. Small stories are part of a larger story, called a narrative. People tell stories about themselves and others, their party and the other party, their country and other countries, their people and other people. They vet individual news stories and news sources based on whether they reinforce their preexisting narrative. "Facts” are judged by whether they conform to the meta-story. 

Both Democrats and Republicans have stories. Some stories are based on evidence and some are not. Some stories are more important and relevant than others. Some are fabricated, and some are accurate. Most of the stories seem to have victims and villains. People like us are the victims, and people unlike us are the villains.  

We are on the side of the angels against the evil forces seeking to destroy our country. We are the true patriots, and the other side are the traitors. They want to take away rights and freedoms, and we want to preserve them. We seldom pause to wonder if perhaps our stories are not as obviously true as we think they are. If they were, there would not be so many misguided and deluded people! 

Both sides hear only the stories and tell only the stories that illustrate their values. Both sides are deaf to the stories of the other side. They cannot view the world through the other's eyes or walk in the other’s shoes. This time around, the stories and narrative told by Republicans made more sense to more Americans than the stories told by Democrats.  

That is how we got to where we are. Storytelling. I am suggesting that the stories are a big part of the problem. Not that stories are bad. I love stories. I read at least one novel each week and often two. But stories oversimplify and distort truth. Stories never tell the whole story!  

Cultural stories arose as social mechanisms to reinforce tribal identity and loyalty. They evolved to help the tribe survive in a hostile environment. They have been part of human culture since the beginning of civilization.  Stories are at the core of every religion. The Bible is a book of stories. Jesus was a storyteller. 

The problem is that stories are fictions. At best they are incomplete truth. At worst, half-truths. They are partial truth. Edited truth. The whole truth is always more complex than what stories say. Stories can point to truth, but they can also obscure truth. Stories are especially dangerous when they are intentionally used to deceive.  

They are also misleading when people mistake the story for fact. Like Christians mistaking ancient creation myths for history. Stories are misleading when we focus on the story rather than what it is pointing to. Like the Zen teaching about the man who mistook the finger pointing to the moon for the moon itself.  

Stories are mental techniques used to shape raw data into something that is usable. They are mental shorthand that distort reality so we can digest it. They are useful fictions invented by the human mind and perpetuated by human culture as a way to navigate a complex world by simplifying it. Stories do not describe the world; they create a world that does not exist in reality. 

For that reason, we need to be wary of the harm stories can do. For example, if our religion's stories include divinely sanctioned genocide, then we are more likely to commit genocide. That explains both sides of the Gaza war. It explains the American Indian Wars. “The only good Indian is a dead Indian” leads to a lot of dead indigenous people. Likewise, if our religious and cultural stories glorify war, then we will likely send our children to fight and die in war. 

Perhaps an alternative approach is to experience people and situations without telling stories about them. Forget the shorthand and look at them without prejudice – as much as that is possible. See people without relying on a tale to tell us who they are and how we should feel about them. Without a filter, we may see the “other” as not so different than ourselves.  

We might see ordinary Democrats and Republicans as they really are apart from the stories we tell about them. Then we will be able to spot dangers to our country more clearly. We might even be able to love our neighbors as ourselves. Possibly we could even love our enemies, as the master storyteller of my faith tradition taught me. At least that is my story, and I am sticking to it!