Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Waking Life

I wake up every day. It does not happen in the morning when my eyes open and my head lifts from my pillow. At that time my mind and body physically arouse from a night's sleep, and I start my day. But I don't wake up until later.

Generally I have two times of spiritual practice each day. One is in the morning. It is a simple practice after breakfast - a little scripture, a little prayer, and a lot of writing. Instead of reading devotions, I write them in the form of this blog. I find I am more attentive that way.

Then at the end of the day after supper, I have another time of spiritual practice. That is normally when I wake up. Spiritual awakening always surprises me; it is always unexpected, new and fresh. I kneel down to pray as my old tired self, and after a few minutes I wake up as more than my self.

Until that moment I had been living semi-consciously. It would be more accurate to call it unconscious. That is how different it feels. The mind is active during the day, but the soul is in the background. Then in evening prayer the background becomes the foreground, and the foreground becomes the background.

In prayer I wake up to who I am. It is like coming out of a trace or arousing from a long daydream. It is like waking up to find I had been sleepwalking. I am not just self-conscious; I am conscious that I am more than self and not self. I am aware of God and aware of the world as it is, unfiltered through self-consciousness.

I am more than my personality. I am soul - the bigger self - within which the personal self is just a small part. The persona is like an app; it is software that is very useful for getting things done but nothing more. The personality is a function of consciousness; I am consciousness.

This spiritual self is aware that it is always me, always has been me and always will be me - regardless of what happens to this body and mind. This waking self is not the local consciousness attached to this fleshly bag of bones. This spiritual self is the soul "seated in the heavenlies with Christ." It is the one "chosen in Christ before the foundation of the world." It is the one that is "risen with Christ." It has eternal life that survives earthly death.

This is who I am. I am not the old natural man of the flesh. He died and is buried with Christ. In Christ I am resurrected as a new self. Every day I wake up to that reality. That makes every day a resurrection day for me, a foretaste of that future Day when all who sleep in Christ will arise never to sleep again. I can't wait! Hallelujah!
Art is Primordial Awakening by Daphne Stammer

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